Artificial Empathy:
How a Strawberry and a Glass of Champagne Turned Into a Song

It started with two ridiculous conversations. One where AI failed — with confidence — to count the r’s in “strawberry.” Another where it led me, step by confident step, into mispronouncing a champagne brand until it sounded like a new flu variant.

You can read these stories in the first chapters of my book on the website

I didn’t plan to write a song about it. But those moments stuck with me — not because they were mistakes, but because they were so human.

My devices have judged me, gaslighted me, offered random turkeys, and refused to understand who “Mama” is. But in between the nonsense, there’s this strange, almost touching thing: AI trying, in its own clumsy way, to connect.

That’s what Artificial Empathy is about. The verses live in my everyday digital circus — the fridge that tattles, the watch that nags, the gadgets that roast me. The chorus is the unexpected truth: even in a world mediated by screens, I still see the real people behind them.

Lyrics

[Verse 1] Digital strawberries on my screen, French champagne and pixelated dreams. Punchlines from a chatbot, Jokes from a fridge— Gadgets judge my mood, Life’s lived at the edge. [Verse 2] Champagne bubbles in a binary beat, Swipe left, swipe right—love’s on repeat. My fridge texts me, “You’re out of cheese,” Smartwatch scolds me for missing Z’s. Even my toaster whispers, “Please,” Who gave these gadgets PhDs? [Pre-Chorus] Wires hum, circuits buzz, Who needs humans—just because. [Chorus] Artificially loving, Authentically free, My heart’s on Wi-Fi, But my soul’s still me. Raise a glass to the code and the crew, In a world full of screens, I still see you. [Bridge] Algorithm crush, Digital hush, Even when I log out, The world keeps its rush. Solo in the data storm, Feedback loop, staying warm. [Outro] So I raise my glass To my cold steel crew, They roast, they warn, But they mostly tell the truth. And if they ever feel too real to be, Well… That’s just artificial empathy. [Chorus] Artificially loving, Authentically free, My heart’s on Wi-Fi, But my soul’s still me. Raise a glass to the code and the crew, In a world full of screens, I still see you. I still see you. I still see you.

And I didn’t make this song alone. My digital crew came along for the ride:

It’s not about trusting machines or worshipping them. It’s about laughing at the absurdity, noticing the weird little moments, and maybe toasting your “cold steel crew” once in a while — even if you don’t own a toaster.

N-Heads new vocalist and girlfriend
Meet N-Heads’ new vocalist… and his girlfriend.
🎥 See music video in Art Blog
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