Bridge Over Troubled Queries
N-Heads: The AI Band
A debugging saga, a murdered unicorn, and one very betrayed server
🛠️ It started with a bridge. Once upon a logic loop, I connected a custom LLM model to an external memory system: Redis for speed, PostgreSQL for backup, and a tiny bridge server to glue it all together. The setup worked. The server purred. The logs smiled.
But then came the need for a second database. So I forked the bridge. That’s when the collapse began.
☠️ Redis: High Maintenance, Low Reward
Redis was fast but fragile. It demanded regular key scanning, indexing, cleaning, and prayers to the gods of TTL. It also refused to be polite about it. When Redis tantrums, it doesn’t whisper — it wipes.
PostgreSQL, meanwhile, sat there with a mug of tea and yelled at my model, "No such function SCAN!" Redis became an ex. Postgre stayed, emotionally unavailable but reliable-ish. Like most Postgres relationships.
🦄 The Day I Had to Kill a Unicorn
No, metaphorically would’ve been enough. But no. There it was in the terminal: kill unicorn. The actual line. The daemon was named unicorn (blame history), and the restart wouldn’t work unless I killed it manually.
My soul recoiled. Why kill? Why not release_unicorn, or set_free_unicorn, or hug_unicorn_to_sleep? But the server wouldn’t start. So I did it. I killed the unicorn. And immediately typed touch restart.txt like I was trying to atone with a soft reset.
Unicorn was gone.
💥 "Connection Closed Unexpectedly"
Server was back. Logs were clean. Requests went through. But then… A polite little error, thrown with zero stack trace and all the emotional support of a haunted Roomba: "Connection closed unexpectedly."
That’s it. No port info. No traceback. Just vibes. I tried everything: timeouts, retries, pool reconnections, even polite pleading. The error kept hiccupping like it developed a PTSD after a fork trauma.
🎸 No Redis, No Rage (The Song)
Somewhere between the seventh restart and the tenth curse word, I gave up and wrote a song. A PostgreSQL blues ballad, naturally. Hard rock, despair-coded.
I added lyrics to Suno, then guitars, then visuals. Midjourney, Kling for lipsync. Now? It’s an AI-generated music video. Because why debug quietly when you can scream melodically into the void.
💾 The Moral?
None. There’s no moral. Only this: Redis is chaos in a can. PostgreSQL doesn’t scan database. And sometimes, when you’ve murdered a unicorn and your server still gaslights you, the only healthy thing to do... is write a power ballad.
✨ Epilogue: The Bridges Hold. The Unicorn Endures.
After the rage. After the logs. After the 47th stack overflow post betrayed me... The bridges held.
No Redis. No rage. Just PostgreSQL and willpower — bound together with stubbornness, retry logic, and an emotional support of ChatGPT.
Meet N-Heads: The AI Band
